So let me tell you about women

The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time. - Sean Connery in Finding Forrester

Over the years, I've learned that any time a man starts a sentence with, "So let me tell you about women," you can pretty much ignore everything after that. Let's be honest, most guys know very little (if anything) about women. They are confusing, frustrating, intoxicating, and beautiful creatures, much more complex than us simple men. And yet, impressing a woman is a big reason a man does what he does. For the right woman, a man will move mountains.

So let me tell you about women. :)

My girlfriend Lidiya is going to school, and she works hard to maintain good grades. She was recently taking a Literature class, and she wanted to ensure an A by doing some extra credit work. One of the options was to go to a poetry reading and write a review. And being the best boyfriend ever, I also went.

The poetry reading was at a coffee house (naturally) in south Austin, and as you might expect from a liberal college town, the clientele consisted mostly of people of the non-conventional variety. Hippies. Those of us without tattoos, such as Lidiya and myself, were in the minority.

The evening started with an open mike night. People from the crowd were signing a list to come on stage and read their work. The topics ranged from politics to fake breasts to unrequited love. Although there were a few that could have used a little more work, most of them were quite good.

The featured performer came on after open mike night. His work detailed his struggles growing up gay, his coming out to his mother, and an anniversary letter to his partner. He also had a couple of humorous pieces, one filled with Freudian slips and double entendres and the other describing what it was like growing up a "weirdo."

Once the performance was done, Lidiya and I stopped to check out the CDs he had for sale. Lidiya thought including a CD with the review would be a nice enhancement (or as she called it, a bribe), so I bought one for her. Of all the gifts she's received from significant others, I can guarantee I'm the first one to give her a gay poetry CD.

I may not have moved a mountain, but I made an impression.

P.S. And to answer your expected question, yes, she made an A in this class.

prefectionist.

I have a t-shirt with a single word on it: prefectionist. As you can see the humor derives from the misspelling of the word perfectionist.

Today I was at the DMV renewing my drivers license since my current one expires on my birthday this Sunday. (Shop early; shop often.) I filled out my form and was waiting for the woman at the information desk to give me my number. She looked at my shirt and said, "The P should be capitalized."

I replied, "Probably so, but don't you think the bigger issue is that it's misspelled?"